Just a little humour to give us break from our busy sked.
For everyone who has ever had performance evaluation – just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from federal government employee performance evaluations.
- “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”
- “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
- “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.”
- “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
- “When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.”
- “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
- “He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
- “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”
- “This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.”
- “Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.”
- “A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.”
- “He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.”
- “I would like to go hunting with him sometime.”
- “He’s been working with glue too much.”
- “He would argue with a signpost.”
- “He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.”
- “When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.”
- “If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.”
- “A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.”
- “A prime candidate for natural de-selection.”
- “Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.”
- “Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.”
- “He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
- “If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.”
- “If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.”
- “If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.”
- “It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.”
- “One neuron short of a synapse.”
- “Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.”
- “Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes.”
- “The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”
taken from Mountainwings.com.
Founder of LODI Inc. (Learning and Organization Development Institute, Inc.) and Co-Founder of Blogwatch. Mentor and Dad of 2 Gen Z Professionals.
Advocate of #HRinHR (Human Rights in Human Resources) and #DigitalCitizenship
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