The “One” Eyed Mama

We miss you Nanay, wish you’re still around (My mom and I circa 70)

This is one of my early blog posts, around 2006. At that time, I’m still migrating some useful articles from my Yahoo group email, to my blog, like this one- a story that coach, it touches the core of our being.

This neither my creation, and my “nanay” is not a one eyed mama. I sought permission from the sender to use this and he obliged, he also said it was not his. This has been circulating in different egroups, he said, so he also picked it up.

Whether true or not, stories like this touches hearts, so I thought of sharing the same with you guys.

This is  in honor of  my mother, and all the mothers in the world.

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… she was such an embarrassment… My mama ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell…Anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment.

There was this one day during elementary school.. It was field day, and my mama came. I was so embarrassed. how could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out, the next day at school… “your mom only has one eye?!?!” ..and they taunted me.

I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so, I said to my mama, “mom.. why don’t you have the other eye?! If you’re only gonna make me a laughingstock, Why don’t you just die?!!!” My mom did not respond..

I guess i felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that i had said what i’d wanted to say all this time.. maybe it was because my mama hadn’t punished me, but i didn’t think that i had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night…I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mama was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye.

So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful cause i hated my one-eyed mama and our desperate poverty.. Then i studied real hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, i got married. I bought a house of my own. then I had kids, too.. Now i’m living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when..

What?! Who’s this?! …it was my mother….still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye. And i asked her,

“Who are you?!” I don’t know you!!!” as if trying to make that real. I screamed at her,” how dare you come to my house and scare my daughter!”

“GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!”

And to this, my mother quietly answered, “oh, i’m so sorry. i may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared out of sight. Thank goodness… she doesn’t recognize me.. I was quite relieved. I told myself that i wasn’t going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life. Then a wave of relief came upon me…

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So, lying to my wife that i was going on a business trip, i went. After the reunion, i went down to the old shack, that i used to call a house…just out of curiosity

There, I found my mama fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand…. it was a letter to me.

My son… I think my life has been long enough now.. and…I wont visit Seoul anymore…
but would it be too much to ask if i wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much.. and I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school….for you…

And i’m sorry that i only have one eye, and i was an embarrassment for you. You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. as a mom, i couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye… so i gave you mine…I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did.. the couple times that you were angry with me,..I thought to myself, ‘It’s because he loves me..’

My son… oh, my son… I don’t want you to cry for me, because of my death. Please don’t cry…my son, I love you so much .

AUTHOR UNKNOWN